Wednesday 6 January 2010

Holy shit I'm updating my blog.

That's my resolution for this decade actually, become a proper blogger.

So how else to fulfill that than to start 2010 with a special edition of The Bob Awards - The Noughties.

Simple one.

Musical Artist of the Decade.

Nominees:

Snow Patrol



The Daily Mail (UK) voted Chasing Cars as the song of the decade, so they deserve to be here.



Kelly Clarkson.

The first and only American Idol winner that people actually know and remember.

Leona Lewis.

Same here.

Winner:

Coldplay.

Why bother asking? There's not been a single year this decade (I think) that they don't have a song at the Top 10 of the Billboard Top 100.

Worst Musical Artist of the Decade

Nominees:

Jonas Brothers

Err, I admit, I liked Lovebug. But that's the only good thing about them I can think of. They'll be like Hanson, who disappeared when they grew pubes and cracked their voice.

Pitbull

With the rate of his lyrics, I wonder when he's going to sing about f**king blind girls in their eyes.

Simple Plan

Pinch your nose with your fingers, start singing, and you are on your way to imitating their sound.

Winner:

Paris Hilton

To quote Harith Iskandar from the movie Talentime: "Mom, this Paris Hilton, what does she actually do?".

Album of the Decade

Nominees

Muse - Black Holes and Revelations




Awesomeness

The Killers - Hot Fuss




Addictive

Leona Lewis - Spirit




Mesmerizing

Winner:

Seasick Steve - I Started Out With Nothin and I Still Got Most of It Left




I haven't heard a single song from this album, or this guy, but with an album name like that, how could he not win?

TV Show of The Decade

Nominees:

(I'm not putting Friends here cause they ended too early in the decade. Sorry)

Two and a Half-Men

Charlie Sheen plus another guy and a kid who are really funny and you get a gem of a show.

Quote - Alan Harper: We're leaving at 7 tomorrow.
          
            Charlie Harper: AM?!

            Alan: No, Degrees.

How I Met Your Mother

Nail Patrick Harris, for being Barney

Quote - Barney: Mean are not supposed to was dishes. They're supposed to get their wives to have sex        
            with them all the time. That's what Gandhi taught us.

            Ted: I don't think you know who Gandhi is

Doctor Who

Nobody who reads this blog (since your from Malaysia), will know and bother to get to know this frankly brilliant BBC show, so I'll just skip the explanation.

Winner:

Top Gear



The show in which the presenters were voted to have the best job in the world.
All they do is drive a Ferrari around at high speed, explode a caravan and make fun of other people. Awesome.

Worst TV Show

Winners:

Everything from MTV, a.k.a. The Hills to that Super-Sweet Sixteen rubbish.

Character of the Decade

Nominees:

Barney Stinson

Shrek (who came very close to winning)

Hermione Granger (For being smart, loyal, and every nerds wet dream)

Luna Lovegood (For being everything that a book needs, a weirdo)

The Tenth Doctor (From Doctor Who. I won't bother explaining)

Winner:

Jack Sparrow



When people talk about the 80's, they think of Darth Vader. When they think of the Noughties, they'll think of the-Johnny-Depp-is-awesome-as Captain Jack



Worst Character of the Decade

Nominees

Jar-Jar Binks

Anakin Skywalker (Yes, my favorite space opera has two characters that I despise)

Winner:

Anyone from the Twilight movies.

Best Movie of the Decade.

Nominees

Inside Man




Denzel Washington and Clive Owen argue about a bank robbery, means it's brilliant.

Slumdog Millionaire




Kicking Hollywood's arse.

Casino Royale




HRM's best agent's best movie

Winner:

Are you really surprised?

The Dark Knight




But, truthfully, I enjoyed Gary Oldman as Comissioner Gordon even more than Heath Ledger as the Joker. Heck, my mom, who dislikes this genre of movies, likes it too.

Worst Movies of the Decade

Death Race

Aliens VS Predator 1

Aliens VS Predator 2

They all suck.

Actor of the Decade (Film & TV)

Nominees

Johnny Depp

Who can beat this marvelous man's simply awesome method acting?

Gary Oldman

Awesome as Commisioner Gordon and Sirius Black

Alan Rickman

Severus Snape, the grumpy boss from Love Actually. He stole the scenes he was in.

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Harper from Two and a Half Men

Neil Patrick Harris

Barney-waitforit-Stinson

Cristiano Ronaldo

Winner

David Tenant as the Tenth Doctor.




Okay, I'm fed up. Doctor who started in 1963, and every few years, the actor who plays the main character, The Doctor, changes. To sum up how awesome Tenant was as the Doctor, in his very first season as the Doctor in 2006, he won the The Best Doctor Poll by the Daily Telegraph. He beat favorite Tom Baker, who was the Doctor for 4 years and the winner of the 1999 poll. For god's sake, go watch it.

On a personal note, Tennant just left the role as the Doctor, and I say goodbye to him with the fondest of memories and the best of good wishes. Here's hoping that his replacement, Matt Smith, get's as good a run as Tennant.

Actress of the Decade

Nominees

Meryl Streep

Just that awesome role in Mamma Mia is enough

Dame Helen Mirren

Why should I explain?

Emma Watson

She's the only actress from the Harry Potter movies who has been consistently brilliant

Winner

Britney Spears

For her awesome portrayal as Bruce Willis.





Worst Actor of the Decade

Barack Obama

"Change. Yes We Can!"

What the hell has changed, Mr President?

Worst Actress of the Decade

This Bitch




Sex Tapes of the Decade

Paris Hilton

It brought her to the attention of millions.

Chua Soi Lek

This guy had a sex tape, but yet can still win MCA presidency. Best Porn Star in the world.

Websites of the decade

Youtube

I can watch shows illegally XD

Facebook

My mom's on it. Nuff' said

Great Things of the Decade

Book to movies: Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings have led the 'wireless' generation to opening books for fun.

Association Football: It's become a lifestyle, rather than a sport people like.

Timbaland: Genius

Apple: The iPhone, iTunes and iPod. Here's a joke. Apple is coming out with the iBoob. It's because women complain that men stare at their breasts without listening.

Nvidia: The bloody company became the most profitable company for 2008. What does it do? Sell graphic cards. Go figure.

Guitar Hero

Horrible Things of the Decade

Hollywood Overdoing It: Miley Cyrus to play Super Girl. Yuck

Paris Hilton

Disney buys Marvel: Wolverine, the Disney Character.

Twitter: We can barely talk properly, now you want us to type in 140 characters or less? How stupid is that?

Positive Deaths of the Decade:

MG Rover: One of the most horrible car companies in the world goes Kaput.

WWE: It's back to just being watched by rednecks now.

Negative Deaths of the Decade

Michael Jackson: Now everybody just listens to Pitbull.

So that's the Bob Awards of the Decade. The Bob Awards for the year 2009 will be up in April

Happy New Decade. Take care of each other.

Bobstar.

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I'm shamelessly plugging Devon Awesome's name, because, hey, he needs a real life counterpart. I must warn you that the stuff I write is rather offensive, so if your not offended, you don't get the joke. Start reading a book.